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  • Writer's pictureLouie Monteith


I would like to encourage Christian women whose husbands either are not saved, or at least are not the spiritual leaders of their home. You are in a difficult position, but be assured the Bible definitely speaks to your situation. I know you desire to do the right thing in the Lord’s eyes, so let me share with you how to be A 1 PETER 3 WIFE. Let’s read the passage first:

(1 Peter 3:1-6) Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

- BE SUBMISSIVE: This means coming up under your husband’s authority. And yes, this means even if he is not saved, or is a believer but is not the spiritual leader. Showing respect to your husband is a huge thing because they have taken polls of men who say this is what they want from their wives more than anything else. (Eph 5:23-24, 33) Peter references Sarah and how she admired Abraham. So ladies, study godly women of the Bible and also that you personally know, and refuse to follow the ungodly attitudes of so many of the popular women of today.

- WITNESS BY YOUR LIFE: Notice how the apostle Peter says you can win your husband by being a woman of character. Also observe how all this can be done without preaching to him or nagging him. Both of these things will irritate the man and he will become angry and resentful, and it will also drive him away from the Lord. It also belittles the man and makes him feel less-than. Give him a peck (kiss) and refuse to hen-peck him!

- POSSESS A GENTLE AND QUITE SPIRIT: Peter is basically saying to put your emphasis on your character and not so much on your physical. Now don’t get me wrong, men love when their wives look nice, but to have that beauty of the heart really speaks to the man. He can find a pretty girl anywhere, but how many women have that precious inner quality of godliness? Even if your husband doesn’t know the Lord, he still respects the fact that you shine from the inside out. That’s the kind of woman he is proud to have hanging on his arm.

A further encouragement: Love your husband. Have fun with him. Spend time with him. He might not come to church with you but picture him not as he is, but as he will be. (Heb 11:1) Don’t give up praying for him. There’s nothing God can’t do, and that includes changing hearts!



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